A Near Perfect Weekend

It's a difficult thing to explain to people when they ask if you're doing anything for your day off. "I'm travelling over 150 miles for a couple of gigs by a Marillion tribute band," sounds like a very weird thing to do. I only realise how weird it is when I say it out loud. Let me try to explain / rationalise...

Marillion no longer do the old stuff. I suppose this is the first thing I need to explain. Marillion didn't die out when Fish left. Steve Hogarth joined and they've since done 9 albums (that's 5 more than they did with Fish). Quite understandably, Hogarth (or h as he's known) doesn't like to perform the old material. I'm sure most bands prefer to perform their new stuff than their old stuff, regardless of who sang it. This has left a bit of a gap in the market for nostalgia, and this is where Forgotten Sons come in. I've been going to their gigs for a couple of years now, and I always have to travel a fair distance - it's not easy for a Marillion tribute band to get gigs anyway, and this lot have to travel from Glasgow. We've become good pals with the band, so I like to support them as much as possible. Plus it's an excuse to meet up with some other friends I've met through Marillion.

So we'd already planned to go to their double header in Bolton and Crewe, when on Thursday, a friend asked if anyone wanted to go to the derby match at Old Trafford on Saturday. Say what?!! ME ME ME!!!!! A couple of phone calls later and it was sorted - I was going to OT for my first ever Man Utd match!!!

Due to the 12.45pm kick off, it was an early start on Saturday. We wanted to get to the local Farmer's Market as it was the last of the year, so we were there at 8am for some early morning shopping. An hour later we were on our way to Manchester. I think I was more stunned than excited at this point. We met Michael and Siobhan at The Chester near the ground and did the business. Row AA in the East Stand - we presumed that would be the 27th row. When we walked out onto the stand, we found that AA was actually the front row!!! Right behind the goal!!! It made watching the match very weird - it's a difficult perspective and you can't really make any judgements on what's going on. We were on the same side as the City fans, so I got to shout lots of abuse at them. Two of Man Utd's goals and City's goal were all at our end, so we got both a good view of the net bulging and probably got on TV as well.

Old Trafford's a magnificent stadium. I've seen a couple of England games there, and I don't think it's possible to have a bad view. The atmosphere is electric (despite what some may say). Mind you, the pies are horrible...

Back to the Chester for a swift drink of celebration after the 3-1 win, then on to Bolton. We gave Michael and Siobhan a lift as they were coming to the gig as well, and they joined us for a curry (note to self - never ask Indian waiter for advice on whether a curry is too hot or not). The gig was in Moses Gate, just outside the city centre, and our hotel was just a few metres away from the venue. The pub is also called the Moses Gate, and is fairly cosy, but pretty friendly. Forgotten Sons played a blinder despite having a stand-in drummer. After the gig we got to socialising with the boys - much alcohol was consumed, a few frames of pool were played and we introduced lead singer Martin to Cheeky Vimto (for the uninformed, it is a blue WKD with two shots of port). The next day I was asked what time we left and I realised that I didn't have a clue.

We set our alarm so that we didn't miss breakfast. After a mountain of toast, we slowly got ourselves together for the trip to Crewe - the worst thing about going out and then staying in a hotel is you can't stay in bed all day to recover! I was seriously regretting that Cheeky Vimto, so I let Darren drive. We thought we'd have a look at an old nuclear bunker on the way, but it was shut so we'll have to put that on the list for next year. We checked into the Crewe Arms (which we managed to get at less than half price) and crashed out again, dozing and watching the repeat of X Factor (we both cheered at Ben leaving). We ate in a Wetherspoon's and then made our way to the Limelight.

The Limelight is a much bigger venue. It's quite a maze of rooms, but the main hall is an excellent place for live music. A group of us killed some time before the band came on by losing badly on the quiz machines (I think Darren and I are getting addicted to them). Again FS played a great gig. The place seemed to be fairly busy, but we were the only once dancing! Still, it was a pretty good atmosphere for a Sunday night, and the band certainly felt so. We finished the night by grabbing a pizza and Martin gave us a lift back to the hotel.

Again, we set the alarm for breakfast, which was excellent. I used to go to university in Alsager just 5 miles down the road, so we popped in to visit my ex-landlady Doreen. After a long long chinwag (well we haven't seen each other in over a year!) it was time to hit the road again. We had another thought of doing something touristy, but Jodrell Bank was also closed so it was time to make our way back to Hartlepool. Our route took us through Alderley Edge and past it's schools at around 3.30pm - I've never seen so many 4x4s, it was like a convention!!!

We decided we weren't going to make it all the way home without some food, so we stopped at Northallerton. The plan was to find a pub, but we ended up in the Golden Lion hotel restaurant. The food was probably pricier than we wanted to pay, but it was absolutely excellent. Service was a bit slow though - we were waiting over half an hour for the bill, then waited another 15 minutes to pay! It was such a shame because the food was so beautiful.

Back on the road, we made it home around 9pm. Winning a great footie match, seeing a great band playing songs you love, meeting up with old friends and a good meal to round it off. What a wonderful weekend.

Muse - Metro Arena, Newcastle (19/11/2006)

We hauled ourselves out of bed, checked out, eventually found a Wetherspoons for breakfast (note to self, locate nearest Spoon's to hotel BEFORE leaving home), went to Fopp to spend far too much money and then felt ready to hit the road back down South. We arrived in Newcastle around 5pm, and ended up in Zizzi's for a pizza - great food, appalling service. We decided to park behind the Academy and walk down to the Arena as it was cheaper and would probably be easier to get out of after the gig, so this we did and then followed the crowds to the Metro Arena.

It's not bad for an arena. A nice, spacious entrance hall, plenty of food, drink and merch stalls. I don't normally buy band t-shirts, but Darren offered so I picked a lovely black & white striped one (I normally object on fairtrade grounds, but these are made by Continental who apparently are sweat shop free, so that's good!). Of course, only one stall took credit cards - inevitably it had the longest queue and a £1.50 charge, but it wasn't as long as the queue for the £1.75 cash machine, so not all bad.

After seeing a video of Muse live we decided to go for the easy option and buy seated tickets. We were second block away from the stage, so we had a pretty good view. Support was provided by the Noisettes, who were late taking to the stage and who the less said about the better. They were pretty awful.

I wasn't sure how much I'd enjoy this gig. I love Muse's latest album Black Holes & Revelations (BH&R), but I'm less keen on some of their earlier stuff. I also wasn't sure how much I'd know, how many singles they would perform or whether they would do many album tracks. I needn't have worried as I recognised virtually every song they played! However, I'm a bit hazy as to which title relates to which song which has made this reviewing lark a bit difficult!

They opened with the first track from BH&R, Take A Bow with it's powerful, "you will burn in hell" lyric. The previously hidden stage set included the most elaborate drum riser I've ever seen and a large video backdrop on which either animation or live, often treated footage of the band was shown. I was surprised by how many anthemic, almost sing-alongable songs there were, most notably Starlight, Invincible, and Time Is Running Out. Supermassive Black Hole had a brilliant video starring some dancing robots, and Matt Bellamy had a full-on rock star moment at the end of Stockholm Syndrome (I think), dropping his guitar on the floor, pulling the amp on top, lying on the amp and promptly falling over the back of the riser!

As heavy as they are, there is a precision in Muse's music that is unusual among the genre. I'm pretty sure that Matt Bellamy has a knowledge of classical music, it's certainly evident in his piano playing. Even when his guitar is laden with effects, there is still a classical feel to the way he plays. I was also amazed by the playing of the other two members, especially drummer Dominic Howard. Like Gomez the night before, this is a band with immense technical ability.

We were certainly glad of our seats! The floor looked a bit crazy for swaying and crowd-surfing! The sound was excellent for an arena, and the lightshow complemented the music perfectly.

After Bliss closed the first encore, six massive balloons were floated into the back of the arena. One by one, they started to pop - by the time the last one went the audience were heavily involved, disappointed sighs when they landed and didn't pop, cheers when they did. Witht he last balloon the second encore started, with one of my favourite songs from BH&R, Hoodoo. The final song of the night was the incredible Knights Of Cydonia. Believe me, when you're singing the following with 11,000 it's an amazing feeling:

No-one's going to take me alive
Time has come to make things right
You and I must fight for our rights
You and I must fight to survive

Then the crowd REALLY started jumping. The entire floor, moving up and down together. It was an incredible sight from our vantage point. As the band rounded off the song and the show, jets of steam sprayed up from the stage. And I suddenly realised that I had enjoyed the show so much, I hadn't wondered what the time was once (which is rare for me!).

Although I'm not sure if I'd go to see Muse again. It was almost so perfect, another gig would take away from the experience.

Setlist
Take A Bow
Hysteria
New Born
Butterflies and Hurricanes
Assassin
Map of the Problematique
Starlight
Invincible
Forced In
Time Is Running Out
Plug in Baby
Supermassive Black Hole
Stockholm Syndrome
-------------------------
Apocalypse Please
Bliss
-------------------------
Hoodoo
Knights of Cydonia

Gomez - Barrowlands, Glasgow (17/11/2006)

I've been following Gomez for quite a long time now, and seen a fair few of their live shows. Having missed them earlier in the year and seen a far-too-short set at V Festival in August I was determined to catch them while they were over here promoting their new Best Of release. Unfortunately they decided not to play anywhere near me so it was a choice between the two Saturday nights - Glasgow or Newcastle-Under-Lyme. I've heard great things about Barrowlands, so Glasgow it was.

We arrived at our hotel around 3.30pm, checked in, and went to a nearby Scream bar for a drink. At 5pm, we thought we'd better look for something to eat. It was absolutely pouring with rain, so we thought we'd make our way to the venue and hope to see somewhere on the way. We ended up in Tiger Tiger - the food was ok, but over-priced. Fed and watered, we made our way in the still-pouring rain to Barrowlands.

I think we got there about 10 minutes after the doors opened. Barrowlands is a confusing place, but we managed to put our coats in the cloakroom, buy a T-shirt and a limited edition poster (on thick card, thanks to the merch guy for looking after it during the gig!) and grab a drink before making our way up to the stage area. We were amazed that we managed to bag a front row spot, right in front of where Tom would be playing. Maybe it was the rain, maybe it was the smoking ban, but we were more than happy with this vantage point.

The Barrowlands is an old ballroom dancing hall. It holds about 2000, and it's quite square which I imagine gives a good view for all. Support was provided by Josh Ritter, an American singer/songwriter who looked like he was having far too much fun! He obviously had some fans in the crowd, but his enthusiasm was infectious and we very much enjoyed his set.

By the time Gomez came on the hall had filled up, althought we still felt like we had plenty of breathing space (in my experience Gomez gigs can get quite rowdy!). California from Liquid Skin was an unusually quiet opener, but the song picks up pace towards the end and was followed by uptempo number Shot Shot and Love Is Better Than A Warm Trombone. It was a fantastic setlist drawn from across their career. Personal highlights included the beautiful Free To Run, We Haven't Turned Around and an amazing extended version of How We Operate.

During the course of the gig the band often swapped instruments - for example, guitarists Ben Ottewell and Ian Ball would join Dajon Everett on his percussion or play Tom Gray's keyboards while Tom plays guitar. Ben, Ian and Tom share vocal duties - Ben and Ian often performing in a more insular way while Tom is happy to conduct the crowd. The combination of personalities and the lack of one single "lead singer" makes it feel like more of a group effort, and gives a wonderful balance of fun with the amazing technical abilities of all 6 members.

There was probably only one lowlight - some drunk bloke singing very loudly and very out-of-tune in my ear during the quiet instrumental section of Charley Patton Songs. Otherwise the crowd were friendly and incredibly loud - the roar of appreciation at the end was deafening! Enforcing the smoking ban obviously meant more interference from security than usual, but it didn't detract too much from the performance (and it was fantastic to come out of a gig NOT stinking of smoke!). The sound quality was excellent, and I can fully understand why Barrowlands has been voted the second best venue in the world by bands.

The main set finished with the manic Whippin' Piccadilly, and the encores were three more classics from the first two albums, finishing with one of my personal favourites Devil Will Ride. And it was all over, far too soon. I could watch Gomez play for hours and not get bored. They are possibly the best live band on the planet at the moment, criminally ignored here in their home country. Go see.

Setlist
California
Shot Shot
Love Is Better Than A Warm Trombone
See The World
Hamoa Beach
Free To Run
Blue Moon Rising
Notice
Get Myself Arrested
How We Operate
Ruff Stuff
Ping One Down
Silence
Charley Patton Songs
Girlshapedlovedrug
We Haven't Turned Around
Whippin' Piccadilly
----------------------------
Make No Sound
Fill My Cup
Devil Will Ride

Hayseed Dixie - Carling Academy, Newcastle (15/11/2006)

If you have a look at my little ol' diary dates you'll notice that this week is packed full of gigs. Last night Darren picked me up straight from work and we went up to Newcastle. After getting a bit lost and eventually finding the right car park we needed to get fed. We ended up at Luigi's Ristorante on Groat Market. Absolutely fantastic. They do a "happy hour" special where you get a starter (choice of 4), any pizza or pasta dish and either ice-cream or a coffee for £5.50. We went for the potato skins and the garlic dough twists, then Darren had an arrabiata and I had the marinara. It was a good sized portion (sometimes you feel a bit cheated in happy hour), and there were loads of prawns and mussels in my dish. The meal including drinks came to £15 for the both of us - we'll definitely be going back if we get the chance.

We made it to the Academy in plenty of time for the gig. The support band were called Dark Water and they were excellent. I'm not generally into gothic emo-rock, maybe it works better live for me - I bought a sampler CD so I'll find out when I listen to it. They have a female lead singer with a lovely voice and good rapport with the audience. Heavy but melodic and passionate, very enjoyable.

I think there were a few Dark Water fans in the audience - I'm not sure what they'd have made of Hayseed Dixie! I've seen them a couple of times before at an HMV in-store and at V Festival (review here) but not for a full gig so I was a bit unsure as to whether I'd enjoy them for 2 hours. Still, it was just £12.50 a ticket, so I considered it a bargain. For the uninitiated, Hayseed Dixie are a rockgrass band. Basically they play rock classics (and a few of their original compositions) in a bluegrass style. There are four members, playing acoustic bass, banjo, mandolin and the lead singer who also plays guitar and fiddle. They set up the stage themselves, completely unpretentiously, and seem genuinely touched and amazed by the rapturous reception.

I love covers. Not your bog-standard, karaoke style covers, but I love it when someone takes a song and reinterprets it, and that's what Hayseed Dixie do. The set is largely made up of AC/DC tracks, but my favourites in their repertoire include Queen's Fat Bottomed Girls, Ace Of Spades by Motorhead, Walk This Way by Aerosmith, Black Sabbath's War Pigs and Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin. Also making an appearance was the Hayseed Dixie classic I'm Keeping Your Poop to huge applause.

They went off stage for just seconds before coming back for the encore - as singer Barley Scotch says, it's somewhat arrogant for a band to go off and drink beer just to hear the crowd shout their name. They finished with their fantastic version of Green Day's Holiday and a breathtaking performance of Duelling Banjos (originally written by the father of two of the members fact fans).

The set was beautifully balanced, a couple of covers then a couple of originals, so no-one who didn't know the band could get bored. They're really good fun, totally unpretentious, and I have a feeling that if you've got the time to hang around after the show (and don't have to get up for work in the morning) you'd probably see them in the bar within ten minutes of the show finishing. Go see!

Going Backwards

It's fantastic when you see a minority group really make inroads into being more integrated into society. When you see a group of people change and adapt to the 21st century. And it's so sad to see one small thing undermine all of that. Luton Town manager Mike Newell did that this week. And it's not women that he undermined. It's men.

I'm a full advocate of freedom of speech, especially if it means people actually say these things because it proves just how stupid they really are. If someone says something racist, sexist, xenophobic or homophobic, I don't get annoyed or offended. I laugh. It makes me laugh that people really think these sorts of things.

The even funnier thing is that Mike Newell didn't try to qualify his statement or back it up with any fact. He said, "I know that sounds sexist but I am sexist." As if he wants a medal for it!

I don't know how many women support Luton Town, but I hope they make their presence felt this weekend. Women now contribute a massive amount of cash to the ever-increasing football pot. I hope none of these supporters start feeling alienated just because of this idiotic comment.

Personally I reckon women would be able to control those 22 men much better. One flicker of nonsense and she'd get the red card out, no questions. The male refs are far too soft. Hmmm, maybe I've missed my calling...

20 Glorious Years

20 years ago I was 8 years old. I had absolutely no interest in football. But something happened that would probably add a new dimension to my life. It took a few years for the seeds to grow, but Alex Ferguson's appointment as manager of Manchester United was to be a life-changing moment for me...

It was 4 years later that I started to take an interest in the beautiful game. Back in the days when they used to show games every week on normal telly, my dad would watch and I found I actually enjoyed watching. The FA Cup Final seemed somehow magical, although I didn't really know why. I decided that I'd support whoever won. After a replay Manchester United were victorious and my fate was sealed.

I flirted with Spurs, especially when my dad took me to White Hart Lane for my first ever football match and I met Gazza and Gary Lineker. But it was never quite right. In my heart I was still cheering "United!" and enjoying their wins in the European Cup Winners Cup and League Cup. When they won the first Premier League in 1993, it was a truly joyous feeling. Even though I hadn't experienced the 26 years between League titles, I could still feel the relief of finally winning.

Eric Cantona was my hero. Still is. You can keep your Viera's, your Zidanes and your Henrys, Eric IS the greatest French footballer that the world has ever seen. He just added the final spark that was needed to fire up the great Red trophy winning machine. He won us the two Doubles, and inspired the team that won the Treble in 1999. I always thought it was a shame he never stuck around for that one...

Winning the Premiership doesn't get any less exciting the more you do it, although the ones that go down to the wire are always the most fun. Pipping Newcastle and Kevin Keegan is one of my favourite moments, listening to the commentary on the radio because we never had Sky. But cup finals are something else entirely. Knowing that it's a one-off, one slip up will cost you the title. Losing the FA Cup to a penalty in 1995, and losing again in a penalty shoot-out in 2005 hurts. But it makes the winning all the sweeter. Those last few minutes against Bayern Munich in 1999 will live forever in my memory. It was just the most amazing, ecstatic feeling.

I went to Old Trafford after that victory to join in the parade and the celebrations. I've never had the chance or the privilege of seeing Manchester United's first team live, but I have been to Old Trafford for a few England games. And the strange thing is, it feels like home. I've been to other football stadiums, but it's never the same as the warm fuzzy feeling I get at Old Trafford. People always throw criticism at me, saying I should support a club nearer to home or that I'm not a true supporter because I don't go to games. Have you ever tried getting tickets for Man Utd games? They're like gold dust! As for local teams, when you grow up in Essex there really aren't that many local teams! I've been following Colchester's excellent progress though, and I've been to Victoria Park to support Hartlepool a couple of times too. But my heart is in Old Trafford, and Old Trafford alone. After 16 years, I couldn't possibly change allegiance.

And so to a more local team for me in Southend. It looks like Sir Alex is taking this one a bit more seriously after the last gasp at Crewe a few weeks ago. It's a bit strange for my club to be playing one so close to where I'm from, but I'm definitely more of a Colchester supporter so beating Southend shouldn't be too much of a hardship for me! I hope that we can round off an excellent anniversary for Sir Alex, what with the league results all going our way last weekend. The man has achieved so much, you can't help but admire him.

I suppose ultimately I want to thank him. Manchester United have provided me with so much happiness over the last 16 years. Sometimes I think, if things had gone the other way I could have been a Crystal Palace supporter! And for rescuing me from that fate I am truly grateful.

I can't imagine the club without him, although we all know it will happen one day. Hopefully not too soon. Here's to another 20 years!

Madonna & Child

I can't quite understand this big commotion over Madonna wanting to adopt a Malawian child. I suppose it's another big stick people can try to bash her with. I don't entirely agree with adopting from a foreign country, but I don't know why a lot of people suddenly want to be so against it. There wasn't this fuss over Angelina Jolie. So, a couple of points to set straight:

• I think it's highly unlikely that she's just waltzed into the country, selected the one she wanted like a new pair of shoes and expected to waltz out again. She would have had to go through stringent assessment in the UK before even being allowed to approach the authorities in Malawi.
• "She's just doing it for publicity." Of course. That would explain why her publicist has been denying the story and trying to keep it hush hush...
• "Why doesn't she donate the money she would spend on the child here to charitable causes within Malawi." As if the $3 million she has already pledged just isn't enough.

I do think it's a bit odd that the child she has chosen does have living family (perhaps she wasn't aware of that at the time). And I wonder if Madonna - at 48 - has been turned down for adoption in this country due to her age. I may not entirely agree with foreign adoptions, but if it gives just one child a happier, healthier life with better prospects I don't see how it can be considered a bad thing. And I'm sure that she is doing it for all the right reasons.

It's Not Easy Being Green

But it's kinda addictive. I've been trying to live as ethically as possible this year. I guess it all started with the MakePovertyHistory thing last year. I never really agreed with it, but I could never quite work out why.

Then someone at work brought me a Traidcraft catalogue. FairTrade suddenly came into my consciousness and it all became clear. You can't make deals on these kinds of issues with politicians. They make empty promises that they can't keep and within 5 years those world leaders have been replaced and you have to start all over again. You have to tackle business. And from my relatively lowly position, there's only one way to make my voice heard - to vote with my purse.

So slowly but surely I've tried to buy FairTrade products whenever I can. It makes shopping a whole new experience! When you start to think about the hours that people have put in to make your clothes or farm your food it sheds a new light on things. I no longer want to wear clothes that people have slaved over for very little pay, or eat food produced by people who have little or no employment rights. I wouldn't want to have to work under those conditions, so why should I expect other people to just so that I can save a few pennies?

This kind of thinking escalates. Once you start on one small part of trying to make people's lives better, you want more. We've started getting fruit and veg delivered through an organic box scheme, and I try to buy organic wherever possible. I'm making a more concerted effort to recycle. I try to buy health and beauty products from the most ethical sources (Boots get a big green tick in The Good Shopping Guide). I try to save as much water and power as possible. I walk to work rather than driving, and try not to drive anywhere if it's possible. I try to buy FairTrade presents, and if anyone says they don't want anything I'll buy them one of Oxfam's funusual gifts.

People ask me why I care. Helping the environment is too big a thing, it won't affect us in our lifetime they say. To me "the environment" is not about the big wide world or a hole in the ozone layer. It's about the very air that everyone breathes, the landscape around you. "The environment" is much more immediate than the whole world. And it's already affecting us. I can't believe anyone can honestly look at masses of car fumes and say that makes for a nice place for people to live. I've heard people complain about having to separate their rubbish for recycling - I'm sure they'd complain a lot more when the local playing field is turned into the local rubbish dump or when an incinerator is built next to the local school. All that rubbish, it's got to go somewhere. And it's such a tiny thing to do, sorting your rubbish.

This is just a simple example of what I'm talking about. People do things without thinking. They buy things without thinking. I guess all I'm trying to do is put thinking back into my life. I'm far from perfect. I still shop at Tesco. I still use the dishwasher. I still fly from one end of the country to the other to visit my family. But I now get a twinge of guilt whenever I do these things, and everything I spend my money on now comes with the thought of whether it's the best ethical choice. It's become a second nature. And it's actually a lot more exciting than you probably expect...

Vroom Vroom!!!

When I asked Darren what he wanted last Christmas, he consisitantly said, "a Ferrari." So I got him one. Actually I got him two. Only for 3 laps each though!

On Saturday we cashed in his Drivers Dream Days voucher and went to Bruntingthorpe in Leicestershire. Firstly he was driven by an instructor in a Subaru to show him the track and the best way to drive it. Next up was 3 laps in a Ferrari 360 Spider (with the top down, natch!) On his last lap the instructor told him to miss out the chicane on the back straight and floor it - he reckons he hit 170mph!

We took his son Jordan to watch, and we got a pretty good view (thank goodness it was a nice sunny day). You could also get quite close to the cars - Jordan was particularly taken with an orange Lambourgini that made a massive roar every time it was started up! Next on Darren's agenda was go-karting. I got some good video of him, but unfortunately one was when he got overtaken!

We then tried to get a drink and a burger from the van on site before Darren's next drive. Fast cars, not so fast food. After waiting in an unmoving queue for 15 minutes, it was time for Darren to get in a Ferrari 355 for his next 3 laps. All was going well until the last lap where he spun it! He claims that the instructor hit the dual brake - all sounded like a bit of a misunderstanding to me...

We eventually got a drink and some nosh. Darren then decided to treat Jordan to a lap in "that" Lambourgini. 1 lap for £45 ain't cheap, but I'm sure he enjoyed telling his mates at school on Monday. Darren offered to pay for a lap for me, but I can think of better things to spend that kind of money on. Definitely a bloke thing!

Finally he had a "high-speed passenger ride" in a Subaru Impreza - this is where the instructors show you how it's done! I think Darren was suitably impressed. We were also entitled to a 4x4 passenger ride, but I think one of the 4x4s had broken down so we were looking at a 40+ minute wait and decided not to bother. Darren bought some professional photos and we headed home.

It's not cheap, but it's definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience. The staff were fantastic (apart from the twitchy instructor!) - all really friendly, especially with the young 'un. Only problem is he now wants a drive in something else...

Come On England!

OK, it was only the Under-18s, but when England come to town you really ought to go and support them. They were playing France in a friendly. In the end we lost 2-0 - probably a fair result but we played some good football. France were much better defensively and in the end that's what made the difference. Most promising (especially for me) was Febian Brandy, the only Man Utd player in the squad. He's very quick, but he hasn't quite got the finesse to get past defenders yet. Sometimes you think, "he's only young, he'll get there," but then you think of players like Wayne Rooney who were already playing senior football at that age. Football, it's a funny ol' game innit?

Cannot Compute

Our computer is currently kaput. I couldn't cope with listening to the same few albums I had on my ROKR anymore, so we borrowed the other half's work laptop and I put on a few of my favourite albums instead. And I thought I'd write a bit of blurb about them:

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - B.R.M.C.
I discovered this band when I was working in store for HMV and could pretty much play whatever I liked. It's a dark rock 'n' roll album - not dark as in Marilyn Manson though, much more tuneful than that. It's very soulful.

David Bowie - Black Tie White Noise
I don't use this word lightly, but the man's a genius. I know a lot of people think he's not as good as he was in the 70's, but I love his later work. I admire anyone who can diversify. I've always loved the two singles from this (the title track and Jump They Say) and recently got the album off eBay. I could listen to Jump They Say for hours...

Michael Jackson - Thriller
This was Darren's choice (I ran out of inspiration and asked him to pick a couple of surprises for me). I would have chosen Off The Wall myself, but Wanna Be Starting Something is probably my favourite MJ track and as for Billie Jean - I'll name that tune in 1!!!

Madonna - Confessions On A Dancefloor
She's not the greatest lyricist in the world, but it's great to hear dance music that's about more than love or dancing. The red string of Kabbalah threads through almost every song to make for a very philosophical and personal album. Musically it just makes you want to dance!

Marillion - marillion.com
Marillion at their most experimental. Funk, dub and blues fuse with their usual blend of progressive rock on this album. It's certainly not their most cohesive, but it's probably their most quirky, and contains two of their most beautiful songs, Go! and House.

Massive Attack - Mezzanine
Another one I wouldn't have chosen (I prefer Blue Lines). I don't know if I've actually listened to it all the way through yet - maybe that should be my album of choice for tomorrow!

The Mooney Suzuki - Alive & Amplified
The title track was played daily about 18 months back when I used to regularly listen to XFM and I love it. The rest of the album's pretty similar. Good, old-fashioned, rock 'n' roll that you want to sing, dance and make merry to.

Pink Floyd - Meddle
It's my favourite Floyd album, and not just for Echoes and One Of These Days. I love the bluesiness of it. Saint tropez is sooo cool you need to wear shades just to listen to it!

Suzanne Vega - Nine Objects Of Desire
Suzanne Vega is the reason I learnt to play guitar. I love the contrast of the simplicity of the music with the complexity of the lyrics. For years I only listened to the first two albums, but I eventually picked this one up and absolutely adore it, especially Caramel and Honeymoon Suite.

Find And Seek

Last weekend we went geocaching. "What is geocaching?" I here you cry! Well basically it's a worldwide treasure hunt. A cache is generally a sandwich box, ammo box or something similar, containing a logbook and a few small gifts, although they can be as small as a film case. People hide them (often in bushes, trees or rocks), taking a note of the GPS co-ordinates, then file them on www.geocaching.com where other people (like us!) log the co-ordinates and try to find them. The idea is that you take one gift and leave another, and write a message in the logbook. We thought we'd do a bit of promotion of our favourite band Marillion, and leave sampler CDs.

Darren's son Jordan came up to the North East for the long weekend, so we located a few near us to try to track down. We started with a relatively easy one (all caches are graded on Difficulty and Terrain) called Air Power, then found Hardwick Hall Park and Rodridge Lane. Hardwick Hall was particularly nice - a wooded park with lots of ponds and ducks. 3 out of 3!!! Just when it started to look really easy we seemed to hit a wall...

Next on our list was Rule Of Thumb. We knew it was a multi-cache, where the co-ordinates don't lead directly to the cache but to a clue. We could see a bird-box among the trees, and sent Jordan in to have a look but he couldn't see anything. It started to rain so we gave up. Dalden Tower seemed even more fruitless - lots of overgrown nettles and the tree cover made it hard to get a good GPS signal. Again the heavy rain drove us back to the car. Alienation was quite good fun - a VERY steep path down the cliff onto a raised beach. But we searched and searched among the rocks and could find nothing (we weren't quite brave enough to stick our hands in blind holes!

So after 3 successes and 3 failures we had two more on our list. It was getting late and we only had time for one more so we decided on another multi-cache, Dead Man's Bank. We had to find out the co-ordinates by answering some questions, and we were on our way. It was quite a long walk along the cliff, and when the heaven's opened we were really too far away to get back to the car. So we plodded on in the rain (which soon subsided) to a bunch of gorse bushes. Hmm. It was obviously in there, but they're prickly things and as they were covered in spiders there wasn't a chance I was sticking my hand in! Darren wasn't going to be beaten though, and eventually he found it. 4 out of 7, we won!!! Also in this cache were a travelbug and a Geocoin, both of which wanted to move from cache to cache.

On Saturday evening we e-mailed the owner of Rule Of Thumb (who very quickly replied with a hint) and studied the pictures of Alienation. Dalden Tower looks a bit of a lost cause as no-one's found it for a while, but we thought we'd have another go at the others. Firstly Rule Of Thumb. I decided I was going to investigate the birdbox this time. I found a small metal stick around the back of the telegraph pole, and when attached to a metal disc on the bottom of the birdbox a tape measure came out with the co-ordinates on it! Clever! Alienation we found by taking a picture with Darren's mobile phone - his arm was just about long enough! We left the Geocoin (which wants to travel around the North East) here. Finally we found Go Down In The Woods Today, the one we didn't bother with yesterday. It was a long, long walk in the Dene Forest - and a long walk uphill walk back!

We had a lot of fun Geocaching. It's a great way to explore places you wouldn't have otherwise known about, and get some exercise. We'll take the travelbug with us next time we decide to hunt some treasure...

V2006 - The Good, The Bands and The Ugly

Wow, what an amazing weekend!!! Instead of writing a diary style entry, I thought I'd break it down into the above categories. In reverse order - finish on the positives!!!

The UglyThe Rain - Now, maybe some festivals like to think that rain is an integral part of the experience, but I have to disagree. It's not so bad standing in the rain listening to great music, but sitting outside your tent in the dark and wet is no fun at all. It's one of the most enjoyable bits - chilling out after the bands, get a barbecue going, have some beers, but it isn't quite the same when you're dripping! The rain also creates mud of course, meaning all the nice clothes and shoes you planned to wear get replaced by wellies, combats and warm fleeces.

The Organisation - It's got to be said that I have a lot less complaints than some people have had (don't go to a festival if you can't handle queuing for a beer or the loos or to get in or out at peak times). But there are a couple of things that did annoy me. Firstly, don't tell 100,000 people that they don't need to bring too much money if you're only going to provide 3 cash machines. Don't tell people that they will be able to charge their phones up if you can't provide the electricity to power all of the chargers you have. Train stewards and security staff so that they know the rules on what you're allowed to take in and so they know the layout of the site. And when everyone's trying to leave the car park, get some stewards in to guide the cars into proper lanes instead of allowing a free-for-all bottleneck.

The Clashes - There's always going to be some at a festival, but there were loads of bands I'd have liked to have seen but missed because they clashed with someone else. Divine Comedy, Beautiful South, Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Fatboy Slim, Faithless, Cardigans - what was most annoying was the odd times when there was no-one I wanted to see!

People Who Can't Put Tents Up Properly - The mess of guy-lines was ridiculous in such a small space!

The Bands
Son Of Dave - Only caught the end, wanted to get a good spot in the Cider House for Hayseed Dixie...

Gucci Soundsystem - And then realise that we'd have to listen to 90 minutes of drum and bass! Still, it was entertaining to watch people off their faces on drugs at lunchtime!

Hayseed Dixie - In case you don't know about them, Hayseed Dixie started off doing AC/DC songs in a country style. They've since diversified into other rock bands, and also write their own songs (some funny, some serious). Really good fun in front of a packed crowd (although that could have been because the Cider House provided shelter from the pouring rain!

Richard Hawley - Next it was over to the JJB tent. Gomez was the priority here, so we got in early to make sure (when it rains the tents always fill up quicker). This also meant we got to see some acts that we wouldn't otherwise have chosen. Richard Hawley was ok, a bit 50's influenced for my taste but the last track (I think it was called Ocean) was excellent.

Imogen Heap - Man she's weird!!! She did the entire show on her own, using lots of samples and vocal effects to create a big noise. The first track was a cappella but using looped vocals recorded live - I've seen this done before but this was the best I've seen. Her use of backing tracks made it feel a bit sterile though, would have been nice to have some other live musicians on stage.

Nerina Pallot - I really liked her but the other half was less keen. She's very good at what she does (she sounded pretty nervous at the beginning) but what she does is fairly unremarkable, especially after the inventiveness of Imogen Heap.

Gomez - Apparently the JJB was so packed they were turning people away. I've been into Gomez since their debut album and have seen them countless times. We'd been at the front since Imogen Heap, and the time spent there certainly paid off. They played a pretty rip-roaring set, some tracks from the excellent new album and finished with Whippin' Piccadilly which got the crowd calling for more. 40 minutes was never going to be long enough!

Starsailor - From the JJB we nipped over to the Channel 4 stage as quickly as possible where Starsailor were playing. What an excellent set - with no brand new album to promote they gave the audience the perfect "best of" performance.

The Charlatans - Not a band I'm a fan of or would have chosen to see, but this was Darren's choice. They were pretty good, but there's only so much whiny Manc indie I can handle! The new stuff sounded excellent though. We managed to get pretty close, and there was a bit of push and shove, mostly just a bit of fun.

Razorlight - After the Charlatans we moved out of the crowd to get some food and beer. We stood at the back for a couple of Razorlight songs, but weren't particularly bothered about hanging around. A lot of people were though, for a 2nd stage band they commanded a huge audience.

Groove Armada - We noticed that we could get into the JJB so we wandered in for a quick boogie. They were performing completely live which surprised me for some reason. Very good, but seemed a bit samey so we went for another wander.

Morrissey - The only main act left was the one I really wanted to avoid. There was only 10 minutes left though, and the main stage was on our way back so we couldn't avoid the depressed one. It was amazing how few people were there - everyone must have been watching Razorlight! So we walked nearer to the stage, and managed to catch the encore of How Soon Is Now - the only Morrissey / Smiths track that I've ever liked. It was pretty good, Morrissey seemed like quite a showman and if you like the music I can understand why you'd be a big fan.

Saw Doctors - Sunday morning started with a trip to the C4 stage to see the Saw Doctors. Again we got to the front. Saw Doctors were excellent. I didn't really know what to expect, but I thought there might be a fiddle in there somewhere!

Biffy Clyro - we stayed where we were for Kula Shaker, and this was an interesting band in between. Just three of them, all sharing vocals and making a lot of noise! I was most impressed by the drummer's excellent vocals.

Kula Shaker - I'm so excited that they're back together. The new tracks are excellent, and they played a few classics to remind the crowd how good they are. Like Gomez, the early slot made for a short set, and I could listen to this band all day.

Captain - We'd spent most of the intervening hour trying to charge up our mobiles without much success, but I really wanted to see this new band. It was our only foray into the Virgin Mobile Union, but on the basis of one song I had a hunch they'd be really good. And they were. Trevor Horn's lush production on Glorious wasn't lost live, the vocal harmonies sounding fantastic. Looks like I might have to get their album.

Art Brut - We were just leaving the Union when I spied some more chargers which weren't otherwise advertised and were mostly empty. At last we could get some juice in them, plus we could sit down for a while and rest our aching feet! In the meantime, Art Brut were on the stage. They were certainly interesting - not sure I'd buy any of their records but they were entertaining enough.

Jamie T - We hung around for a couple of songs while we finished charging. Not my cup of tea, a bit too Arctic Monkeys.

Keane - The next aim was to get a good place for Beck. Keane were halfway through their set and the crowd looked pretty big but it was very spaced out so we walked down the middle quite a way forward. I really don't like Keane - I find Tom Chaplin's voice insipid and most of it's far too MOR for me, but it certainly got the crowd singing. During Bedshaped you could barely hear the band!

Beck - This man is a genius. If you only ever see one live act again in your life, make it Beck. Virtually all of the band end up playing percussion of some sort at sometime, including an oilcan! A new addition to the show is a puppet show on stage of the band, replicating everything they did down to the instruments. They also did a fantastic bit of table percussion which I've seen before but just gets better - as Beck plays a bit of solo acoustic, the rest of the band gather around a table for some water and fruit. Gradually they join in, banging glasses in tune and shaking maracas disguised as oranges. As they had a break before the encore, the puppets had made a video, walking around the site and trashing Radiohead's dressing room. The band then returned to finish with Where It's At and E-Pro.

Radiohead - we ended up far too near the front. When Radiohead came on, it became a bit of a crush and I couldn't breathe very well. We lasted until the fourth song My Iron Lung when Darren took the initiative to get us out. Going backwards through 50,000 people didn't look like an option, so we tried to go forwards to get over the barrier. Surprisingly we got quite a way before hitting a wall of people. The only way was up and over, so we both crowd-surfed our way out. It's quite an adrenaline rush crowd-surfing, and I could finally breathe fresh air! We grabbed a well-deserved Strongbow and enjoyed the rest of the set much further back. This meant we could properly see the excellent light show. Lucky was a definite highlight for me, and the audible sigh of joy when they started Street Spirit was quite amusing. Then they played Creep - one of the rarest songs in their back catalogue showing they truly are in "Greatest Hits" mode at the moment. An awesome end to an awesome weekend.

The Good
Sometimes it's the little things that make a difference...
Getting A Good Pitch - We left at 5.30am to try to beat as much of the traffic as possible and get a good pitch. We ended up in Orange Campsite, right near the Arena, near a fence (so not too many people were walking past), not too far from the loos and stalls for tea and coffee in the morning. Excellent!
Avoiding the rain - It seemed that every time we wanted to be outside it stopped hammering it down. Just as we finished putting the tent up and got inside, the heaven's opened. Whenever a band we wanted to see was on in a tent, it poured. All in all we were very lucky!
Disposable Barbecues - You can't beat a freshly cooked bacon butty in the morning. Much better than buying them off the stalls, and of course much cheaper too. We ended up taking far too much food though!

Glyn & Hannah - Our pitchmates, and excellent company all weekend.

Being Front Row - For Hayseed Dixie, Imogen Heap, Nerina Pallot, Gomez, Saw Doctors, Biffy Clyro and Kula Shaker.

Bob - From the group of young festie goers near us. You provided us with entertainment and beer, we provided you with food. Fair exchange!

Good Buys - £10 each on wellies that we spent all weekend in, bargain! £10 on a fold up wheelbarrow to cart stuff from and to the car, bargain! £3 on a waterproof rug to stop things falling off said wheelbarrow into the mud, bargain!

The Loos - They actually weren't disgusting at all, and if you looked in the right place at the right time, there were hardly any queues.

Strongbow - Nice and refreshing, much better than beer!

Virgin Mobile Sims - Even though I didn't manage to get backstage with one like they said, the two free ciders during Radiohead were worth the £3 I paid on eBay!

Going Ape

With V Festival coming up and us in possession of a new tent, my boyfriend decided that we had to test it out. Now, I'm not that girlie a girl, but camping has never been my idea of fun. My protests were to no avail - we were booked to stay near Ullswater in the Lake District.

We met up on Friday night with Darren's parents who have a nice comfy trailer tent, along with his son Jordan and his mate Marcus. So much for summer - looks like it's all over. It was really quite cold overnight - my boyfriend mocked me for wearing jogging bottoms and a fleece but when I woke on Saturday morning he was wrapped up in his fleece! We made our way over to the trailer tent where his mum was cooking up a fine breakfast - we would need a lot of energy today...

We were about to Go Ape. Basically, Go Ape takes you up over rope bridges, tramlines, cargo nets, up rope ladders and down zip lines in the forest. This one was in Grizedale Forest, and there are 6 other locations around the UK. You are fitted with a harness and taken through a pretty rigorous training session before you are let loose on your own. At all times you keep yourself attached to the trees, so you're never in any danger, even on a tiny platform 60ft up a tree! I was amazed at how confident I was with it all. Until one of the last obstacles that is - a "Tarzan swing" into a cargo net. Unlike the zip lines which you could almost sit into, with this you had to jump off the platform a free fall about 10ft before the rope tightened. I still did it (even if I did scream a bit!)

It was a real sense of accomplishment to complete the whole course. I'd highly recommend going - it takes about 3-4 hours to go round and if it's quiet you can even go round again. You don't have to be particularly fit or young even - the oldest person to complete the course was 86 years old!!! Have a look at Darren's blog for some pics.

On the Sunday we said goodbye to our fellow campers and made our way back across the country. On our way down we'd taken a wrong turning off the A66 into some strange place called Rhegad, and as we were passing again we thought we'd check it out. Turns out it's a strange shopping centre / cinema / exhibition hall / conference centre hybrid. It's been built into a hill so you can bearly see it from the nearby roads. We had a good nosy around the shops. My favourites were Taste, a proper foodies food shop with lots of local produce, Saunders the chocolate shop where you could watch them making the chocolates through the window, and Talent, an art and furnishings shop with lots of fabulous individual pieces (I would love to be rich enough to fill my home full of these things!)

There is a giant cinema screen which shows movies on things like Everest, the Grand Canyon and the Serengeti, and the National Mountaineering Exhibition, but we decided not to pay for these. The temporary Buddhist Himalaya market was a bit disappointing. All in all it was a slightly odd place, but it's worth a look around if you're in the area and fancy something unusual.

And so to V!!! Please pray for me that it doesn't rain!!!

Live To Tell

Recently I've been embroiled in arguments on an internet forum about Madonna's performance of Live To Tell on her current tour. I ended up writing a short essay about it to try to explain how the piece worked, and the points I believed Madonna was trying to make with it. As I spent a bit of time on it, I thought I'd post it here so it didn't get lost forever!

As a general rule, I hate discussing art in this way. After many years of writing essays and analysing art, I now find it pretty pointless. For a start, the only person who knows the true intentions behind a work is the artist themselves. Secondly, to discuss something that someone else hasn't seen is fruitless. You wouldn't want to tell people what a piece of music sounds like without playing it to them, would you? Seeing the Mona Lisa is a completely different experience to seeing a picture of the Mona Lisa. In the same way, you can imagine Live To Tell in your head, listen to a recording, see a couple of pictures but unless you are there, seeing it with your own eyes it will never have the same impact.

Thirdly, art is, of course, purely subjective. Everyone brings their own baggage to a work, and that inevitably changes the way they view it. If you don't like Madonna, you are bound to view it with a frown. It's human nature. Despite all of this, here is my personal take on the Live To Tell piece. I'll make it as brief as possible.

The song. I've had this discussion on Madonna forums, and no-one seems to know what it is originally about, if anything. It could be about a husband and wife, a child's fear of a family member, abortion, sin. Some believe it's about Madonna's personal experience of rape, some believe it is about the stigma of AIDS. Some even think it could be political. No-one really knows, and Madonna seems reluctant to reveal - the general consensus is that the ambiguity is intentional. This of course makes it the ideal song to be used for this topic. Even if all of the above intents are true, most of them have a relevance the the subject of AIDS, and it's easy to read the words and relate them to the issue.

I have a tale to tell
Sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well
I was not ready for the fall
Too blind to see the writing on the wall

A man can tell a thousand lies
I've learned my lesson well
Hope I live to tell the secret I have learned
'Til then it will burn inside of me

I know where beauty lives
I've seen it once I know the warm she gives
The light that you could never see
It shines inside, you can't take that from me

A man can tell a thousand lies
I've learned my lesson well
Hope I live to tell the secret I have learned
'Til then it will burn inside of me
The truth is never far behind
You kept it hidden well
If I live to tell the secret I knew then
Will I ever have the chance again

If I ran away
I'd never have the strength to go very far
How would they hear the beating of my heart
Will it grow cold the secret that I hide
Will I grow old
How will they hear
When will they learn
How will they know

The song may have religious connotations for Madonna - when she performed it during the Blond Ambition tour the stage was set like a church. The Vatican has long been criticised for it's stance on condoms in relation to the AIDS crisis in Africa. This has made it difficult for the governments of Christian countries to educate their people about safe sex. This along with the continued belittlement of women in many countries has been a lethal combination - the women are often the more devout, and will refuse to use condoms even though their husbands are infected.

The Catholic church is perhaps an unfair target - although infection rates in Christian countries are higher than those in Muslim countries, the rates for Catholic countries are much lower than non-Catholic Christian countries. Madonna obviously still has some issues with her early Catholicism, and possibly chooses it as a primary target because her upbringing makes her more comfortable in challenging it. But I don't think it is the only message or target within the performance.

Sacrifice is undoubtedly one of the points being made. What can each person sacrifice to try to make someone else's life better? I also feel there is a further message for those who consider themselves Christians. What would Jesus think of the world we live in today? Of how we treat our fellow human beings? What would He do if He came back to Earth? I think Madonna is trying to ask all of her audience - whether they believe in God or not - to do their bit. To, "walk the walk," as she puts it.

A little explanation of the whole piece for those who haven't seen it. Rather than a rapid onslaught of images and facts, the audience are simply presented with 3 facts and 5 images (if I remember correctly) to make the point. Not wanting to sing with a barrier between herself and the audience, Madonna descends from the cross before the bridge and sings the remainder of the song to the audience. The song ends with the website addresses of Raising Malawi and The Clinton Foundation on the screens. The mirrored effect on the cross may have further connotations (about materialism perhaps), but I suspect that may be reading too much into it and it is purely to make a better visual fit into the rest of the show.

Is it shocking? Not really. Jesus has been portrayed by people many many times before, so why this has caused so much consternation I don't know. I suspect that the majority of those who criticise have not seen the performance and thus do not understand the context. Or maybe there are those in the Catholic church who do understand but who wish to deflect the criticism. Some Catholic fans have found it offensive, some do not understand how anyone could be offended by it. Maybe the fact that the performance is by a woman, or maybe because it is this specific woman compounds some people's shock factor.

Provocation often gets confused with shock, and I certainly believe that Madonna wishes to provoke, but I do not think she intends to shock. That is probably even more evident in the fact that she has chosen to take this tour to Rome, to the heart of the Catholic church - the first time she has toured Rome since Blond Ambition. It is easy to be lazy and presume that it is a publicity stunt, but I have no doubt in my mind that she intends to generate publicity for the cause rather than for herself. But when it comes down to it, it is a work of art, not a marketing campaign and it should not be judged as such.

I'm sure that when you garner your information about the piece on hearsay it may sound somewhat crass. "It's a painting of some flowers," wouldn't convince me that I'd love Van Gogh's Sunflowers. I understand that journalists have a job to do, an agenda to fulfill and many of those who have commented on the piece have done based on a still image. However, seen live, Live To Tell is very simple, emotional and effective.

Time Goes By So Slowly For Those Who Wait

And it was a weekend of waiting, queuing and delays. And people, lots and lots of people.

Saturday morning's journey to Cardiff was the usual planes, trains and automobiles - train Hartlepool to Newcastle, Metro to the airport, plane to Bristol, train to Cardiff, taxi to the hotel. Once at the hotel we changed and called another cab, arriving back in the city centre about 6pm. First stop was the Millennium Stadium itself to see whether people were queuing yet - there were a few and I admire their resolve as it was chucking it down with rain and didn't stop all night! There weren't enough people there to worry about so we went off in a quest for food and drink. We ended up in the Hard Rock Cafe where we stuffed ourselves silly and had plenty to drink as well. We sautered back down to the Stadium where there still weren't very many people queuing and decided to have a boogie in 80's bar Reflex before getting some kip.

After just 5 hours sleep the alarm went off at 6am on Sunday morning. Urghhhhhh. Dragging ourselves out of bed, me and my boyfriend Darren were pleased to see that the rain had passed and the sun was shining. I think the cabbie was a bit bemused by us getting there so early! We arrived at Gate 6 at 7am, went to get some newspapers, croissants and water. At 8am a very nice member of the Millennium Stadium staff (who were excellent) told us we could go in any entrance despite Gate 6 being printed on our tickets, and that we'd get to the Golden Circle quicker from Gate 2. After a couple of hours eighth in line at Gate 2, we realised that we could actually be first in the queue at Gate 3 and moved there where we stayed for the rest of the day. As it turned out, we could have had an extra 3 hours in bed!

The day actually flew by. We chatted with the other fans in our queue, and Darren bought us a couple of cheap fold up chairs to make things a bit more comfy. We had a couple of beers, got some snacks from M&S and basked in the sun. Madonna herself arrived in a blur of sliver people carriers at 3pm (3 hours late) and that's when the crowds started to swell. We heard a little bit of the soundcheck, but from our gate nothing was very clear. By the time the gates opened at 6pm (30 minutes late) the crowds outside were huge and chomping at the bit. There was a mad rush, but with a combination of walking and running (security tried to stop people running) I got exactly where I wanted to be - halfway up the catwalk right on the barrier. Surely she can't miss me in my pink hat (NOT a cowboy hat) from here?!!

The Golden Circle definitely has advantages - there's no chance of being crushed and you can easily go to the loo without having to fight through thousands of people. Plus being right at the front means you can ask security for a drink of water whenever you need it! Paul Oakenfold was the support act for the night to get everyone warmed up, and warming up he certainly did. There's a real art to "proper" DJing, and he mixed some house stuff (which I liked but don't really know) with some modern classics, including remixes of Song 2 by Blur, Beautiful Day by U2 and the Eurythmics' Sweet Dreams. He really interacted with the crowd, encouraging clap along's and jumping from the assembled throng. He ended with a rather peculiar fade out though.

At 8.37pm the real show started, just 7 minutes later than planned. A 6ft glitterball descended to the stage, and then opened to reveal Madonna inside. The first section of the show had an equestrian theme - for opener Future Lovers the dancers were dressed up in saddles and bits with fake manes or hair. I Feel Love followed to really get the crowd going. She performed virtually solo for Get Together, proving that she doesn't always need dancers to command attention. Then followed the problems with getting so close - the height of the catwalk meant we couldn't see the left hand side of the stage which was where she performed Like A Virgin. Looking forward to seeing that one on video! Jump then closed the first section, a big climbing frame descending onto the catwalk to make it even higher and less visible! A shame because it's my favourite song from the new album, and despite the dancers leaping like monkeys it lacked the energy that it probably should have had.

Section two started with recordings of three of the dancers reciting their "confessions" while video accompanied their dance. The moves were very much in a contemporary dance style, much like the rest of the show. This segued into Live To Tell, with Madonna on her now famous disco-crucifix. It was actually much more subtle than the press have made out - a few photos of African children and a couple of simple facts about the curse of AIDS in Africa serving up the message much better than a bombardment. The end of the song promoted Raising Malawi, a charity that Madonna supports to prove that she does, in her own words, "walk the walk". The rest of this section contained all songs from the latest album - Forbidden Love with it's anti-homophobia message, Yitzhak Sinwani accompanied Madonna on backing vocals for Isaac and all of the dancers came out to perform in a cage reminiscent of the video for Sorry. Like It Or Not followed, with a routine on a chair on the end of the catwalk that I couldn't really see from my vantage point - I could see less there than I expected.

Next up, the guitar set. My favourite!!! I Love New York and Ray Of Light got us bouncing like nutters, and it's always great to see Madonna strap on an axe! Let It Will Be calmed things down a bit, followed by an impassioned and brilliant performance of Drowned World from the steps of the catwalk. This section was rounded off with a duet of Paradise (Not For Me) with Yitzhak Sinwani.

Finally, it was time for some all out disco. Music was mixed with the Trampps Disco Inferno and the dancers donned rollerskates to up the energy to fever pitch. Madonna treated us to some of John Travolta's moves before You Thrill Me - an alternative version of Erotica - with some excellent couple-dancing on the main stage. Next up, a really fast version of La Isla Bonita, then Lucky Star followed mixed with the now familiar sample of Abba's Gimme Gimme Gimme which meant the last song was easily predicted. There was surely no-one left in the Stadium who wasn't dancing to Hung Up. And finally I got my moment with Madonna! She got the crowd from different areas to sing, "time goes by so slowly" back to her, and when she did our section she was looking straight at me! No matter how much the tickets, transport and hotel cost, moments like that are priceless!!!

Golden balloons fell from the ceiling and it was all over. She came, she danced, she conquered. Some papers have reported booing - I didn't hear anything more than a disappointed sigh as the house lights came up. I made my way to the merch stand where I spent £90 on a programme (really not worth it) and a tracksuit jacket (which I love!). We eventually made it outside and were left with the dilemma of how to get home. We were far too tired to go out on the town, but Cardiff doesn't have any late night public transport to speak of and the taxis were all booked. After an hour of wandering around talking to cabbies who were waiting for people who had booked, we decided to queue at the taxi rank near the station. Slowly but surely free cabs came around (boy did I appreciate my new jacket!) and we eventually got back to the hotel at 1am.

Unsurprisingly we crashed straight to bed, our feet feeling like lead. We made a cup of tea but didn't stay awake long enough to drink it. We woke at about 11am, dragged ourselves out of bed, checked out and headed into Cardiff to get some food (breakfast had finished everywhere by then!) After a Starbucks and a wonder around a few shops we headed for Bristol, did a bit more window-shopping in the torrential rain and eventually found somewhere to eat. I forgot how good Pizza Express was! Another walk through the torrential rain following rubbish signs to Temple Meads train station later, and we got on a bus to Bristol Airport. There is a point at which you can't get any wetter, and I think we were there! We changed at the airport and checked in, only to find that the flight was an hour late. Eventually we boarded at 11pm and dropped home just after midnight. I think I'll spend all week catching up on lost sleep!

For a much shorter review and some photos, go see Darren's blog at http://www.themarketsquare.blogspot.com/