India Retreat #4

Monday 9th February 2026

My final full day in Rishikesh and it was the earliest start. Anjali was waiting for me at 5:30am for our trip to Kunjapuri temple. It was another 30 minute drive with the intention to get there in good time for sunrise which was scheduled for 6:30am. The road was long and winding up the mountain with lots of switchbacks. I was grateful that, at this time in the morning, there was no oncoming traffic! It was still dark when we arrived and it was really quite cold. I had been warned, but it was the third early morning, "it will be cold" warning I had received and the other two I had been too hot. I was annoyed that I hadn't nipped back to grab my hat when we were waiting for our car in the lobby!

It wasn't far to walk (for a change), and the cold really became apparent when we reached the bottom of the steps to the entrance of the temple and had to remove shoes. If I had known I'd have worn two pairs of socks! I logged our altitude, at 1650m we were higher that Ben Nevis, the highest mountain in Great Britain. No wonder it was so cold! At the top of the 312 stairs, Anjali rang the bell to announce our presence. I wasn't sure if I should follow her lead (sometimes I did, not on this occasion). We walked around the various enclosed altars, and took shelter in one while we waited for sunrise and the main temple to open.

Kunjapuri Temple is one of 52 shaktipeeth temples. Legend has it that the goddess Sati, first wife of Shiva, threw herself in the yajna fires when her father disrespected her husband, and died. A distraught Shiva carried her dead body throughout the Himalayas, dropping various body parts as he went. Sati's torso is said to have fallen at the site of Kunjapuri temple ("Kunja" means "chest" in Sanskrit).

As the light lifted the mountains came into view. We weren't to get a proper sunrise due to the clouds, but there was a moment of dramatic, deep orange sky. At some point between 6:30-7am, the main temple, which had previously been locked, was opened and the ceremony began. The temple was tiny, with the door not really wide enough for more than one person to go in or out. There was a priest chanting, and another person in assistance. With three other people sat, there really wasn't space to stay! I took my blessing and tilak (this time with a grain of rice) and left. It was a real shame as I would have liked a few minutes to take a look around and enjoy the mantra.

I took a few more photos and we left back down the stairs. This time I did follow Anjali's lead in ringing the bell, turning around and touching hand to forehead in reverence. Shoes back on, we found our way to the car but there was no driver! Anjali tried to call him, no answer. She called the office, and after about 20 minutes she was clearly getting a little worried. I enjoyed the view and the birds (one particularly tame one came close to me). I wasn't too panicked, I was sure that another car could be sent but I was a little worried for the welfare of our driver! Eventually he was found (I think he was just deep in coffee and conversation) and we headed back.

This was the best breakfast all week - pancakes with chocolate sauce and bananas! We all tried not to eat too many of them, even when they kept coming. I had my last yin yoga session and left knowing that I should do more yin yoga in the future (I need to buy some bolsters for my yoga room!). After lunch I had time to do my final shopping. I still hadn't bought my Lakshmi figure, so I headed back down the hill to the shopping street I had been shown the night before. I looked at a few, but a particularly shiny one seemed most appropriate for the goddess of wealth and abundance. The figures are sold by the gram, so it was weighed and payment taken. It also occurred to me that I ought to buy some gifts, so I made those purchases too. 

I didn't really have time to go all the way to the river for one final visit, so I found a cafe with a view and ordered a masala chai. I had got quite used to eating from a low table cross legged. I sat and took in the last few moments in the bustling peace that was Tapovan. On the way home I went into a spice shop that was on the main path into the town. I'm sure it was not the cheapest place to buy spices, but I wanted some cinnamon and turmeric for my daily morning drink (I have it with lemon, honey and hot water). I also bought some garam masala and masala chai spices (I guarantee that will be something that tastes better on holiday than at home!). 

My last massage with Puja was at 4pm. I wanted to gift her something, so I bought a tiny Saraswati. It hadn't cost me much, but she was overwhelmed with gratitude at the gift. I wasn't sure if gifts of goddesses were the correct thing to do, but her joy made me feel glad that I did it. She had been so lovely and the massages had been a really vital part of the whole retreat.

My day finished with another Ashtanga yoga session. I don't know if I'm glad I only had two Ashtanga classes or wish that I had more! It was a punishing class even though Anjali is such a gentle and lovely teacher and I almost collapsed at one point. As hard as they are, I would have inevitably found it easier as the week went on if there had been more of them. It had been good to have a variety of classes, and I knew that this would change my practice when I returned home. One last amazing dinner - although I've never felt so judged as when I said to my largely vegetarian and vegan fellow residents that I felt my body might be missing meat!

Tuesday 10th February 2026

I had one last Hatha yoga class with Anjali at 7am. It felt like it had been ages since we did Hatha (the last one was the puppy yoga on the beach!). We finished with Bhastrika pranayama, a forceful breath which I have done but not practiced regularly. As always, the presence of a teacher pushed me far beyond my comfort zone. I mean that in a good way. We chatted afterwards and I told her how grateful I was for her teaching. I explained how difficult releasing into stretches is for me - she worried that she had caused me pain, but I assured her the "pain" was not a bad one. It was a resistance that needed external influence to push through.

I did most of my packing before breakfast and finished it afterwards. My very last session was a sound healing with Monica-ji. This was one of the most intense energy experiences I have ever felt. I've been to a sound bath before, but this was one-on-one which meant she could physically move the singing bowls around my head. I could feel the vibrations throughout my body, as though the atoms of my physical form were being viscerally moved by the sound. I could clearly feel each chakra as she moved through the different tones. Monica-ji asked me afterwards if I felt relaxed and I told her that I wasn't relaxed, I was energised. I felt fizzy, like every cell in my body had been activated.

I had two hours before lunch and my departure and I did still want to take home some art so another shopping trip was needed. I went into an open fronted shop that I had passed many times but not been in. I was quite often out and about in my boots, and slipping them off to go into many of the shops which asked for shoes to be removed was awkward. I had sneakers on today so going into this shop was easier. I was drawn to the yantras, square shaped, geometrical piece of art that are often used for meditation. I liked the starkness of the black and gold ones, and picked out one that particularly spoke to me. It wasn't too big and would definitely find a space on my yoga room walls.

While I was waiting for the shop assistant to find a card machine that worked, I looked around at the other items, many of them musical. If I had another suitcase I would have bought a full set of sound bowls! A sign really interested me from a musical point of view; the root chakra is a musical note C. I thought about whether that relates to why western music gravitated towards a "middle C" and why the C major scale is the one without any sharps and flats.

Back in my room, I finished the packing and made it down for my last meal at the Hare Rama Institute, taking a few photos of the place I had called home for the last week. It was a nice opportunity to say farewell to the teacher trainees who had been such an important part of my retreat. I wanted to leave them a gift and I had a copy of my book with me (always carry a copy of your book with you!) I thought about taking it down for lunch, but instead I decided to leave it as a surprise on the dining table just before I departed. Sadly it seemed to disappear and never got passed to the people it was intended for.

Back into the car and heading to the airport, I took in the final vibes of the traffic, the people, the views down to the Ganga. I grabbed a photo of a water tower for my friend Craig who collects them - I'd noticed them on the way in and made a mental note to get the snap and a pin of the location. Checking in to Dehradun was simple. I had a brief look around the small airport but really just wanted to go straight to the gate. I found a seat next to a bag, checking with the person the other side that the seat was free. After a while it seemed that no-one knew who owned the bag - as security were notified I walked as far away as I could while still being near the gate. There was no drama. Our flight was delayed a little but, with an 8 hour layover in Delhi, I was in no rush. I had again paid for a window seat and enjoyed the snack on the short flight.

In Delhi I knew I had to collect my luggage and re-check in this time. Delhi airport was really confusing with lots of entrances that seemed to suggest I had to check in before entering, but with multiple airlines on my journey, checking in online was proving difficult. Eventually someone directed me to the correct entrance and the correct check in queue. My final security check of the holiday and then the long wait. I had already decided to pay for the lounge for a a few hours but I wanted to pick a few hours in the middle of my layover. I set my watch to UK time, the intention to try to move myself back into the time zone during my travel. I meandered around the shops, not really wanting anything but just using some time. I bought some Indian sweets for work. After sitting on an uncomfortable seat for an hour, I decided it was lounge time.

I paid for 3 hours in the lounge - I probably could have paid for two as they never seemed to kick anyone out and I ended up there for four hours in any case. My favourite thing about buffets is that you can have an entirely illogical plate of food. Random Indian food items, a glass of red wine and I found a seat. I returned a couple of times, once for random non-Indian food, once with a plate full of ALL the desserts. These sorts of desserts are always disappointing aren't they? Brightly coloured, very sweet but no substance or real flavour apart from "sweet". I got a hot flush, I think from the wine and the over consumption of random food after a week of plain wholesomeness. I certainly didn't feel the need for any more alcohol as I found a comfy seat. I tried to charge my phone but none of the ports seemed to work so I just charged it from my portable battery. I had an amazing lemonade made from fresh lemons, salt and soda water which did wonders to hydrate me. I don't think I got my moneys worth in food and drink, but it was worth the spend to have a comfy chair.

I didn't want to push my luck so I made my way to the gate an hour before the flight. It being a night flight, I wasn't sure whether to choose a window or aisle I decided I would rather have the option of getting out of my seat if needed without disturbing people (hello perimenopause) so I was in an aisle seat. As it happened the others in my row settled in and didn't move until the lights came up. I didn't really sleep, but dozed, occasionally listening to meditative music through the plane entertainment system.

The rest of the journey - changing at Munich, through Manchester security, train home - was uneventful. I grabbed naps as and when I could, whilst also putting my body into morning mode with coffee. On the train back to Chorley, I posted the following on Facebook.

"Lots of people said they hoped I’d “find” what I was looking for, but I didn’t go to India to “find” anything. I went to loosen. I went to shed the layers that have swaddled and comforted me into lethargy. I went to let go of all the things that I know hold me back.

The body is a metaphor, and when my teacher Anjali adjusted me and physically stretched me beyond what I could do on my own, I realised how much I hold myself back and make myself small. I have given so much to individuals in relationships and close friendships that I’ve abandoned myself and avoided doing the big work. But the big work needs doing and I owe it to the world to do it.

I’m here to change the world. To make human lives better and happier. Not one by one - and that’s no belittlement, we ALL have a duty to do that. I’ve always known my reason for being is bigger than that.

So now the work starts. And it’s scary to make these statements publicly, but I need to do this so you can all hold me to account.

I ain’t doing this alone. The Fire Horse arrives next Tuesday. And then we change the world.

Are you with me?"